Breaking the Negative Feedback Loop:
Using “Three Good Things” at Intrepid Young Adults
For many of the young adults we work with at Intrepid, the transition into greater independence comes with real challenges: navigating school, managing work expectations, building friendships, practicing life skills, and learning how to recover after setbacks.
When things feel difficult, it is easy for anyone, especially young adults navigating anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, or executive functioning challenges, to become stuck in a negative feedback loop.
A hard conversation with a roommate becomes, “Nobody likes me.”
A missed assignment turns into, “I’m failing.”
A tough week at work becomes, “I’m bad at this.”
Over time, our brains can begin filtering for what is going wrong while overlooking what is going right, often not even remembering positive feedback even if it’s being given alongside criticism.
At Intrepid Young Adults, we want to help young adults build a more balanced and resilient way of thinking. One simple intervention we sometimes use comes from positive psychology and is called “Three Good Things.”
What is “Three Good Things”?
The idea is simple: At the end of the day, pause and write down three good things that happened, big or small.
I made it to class even though I was anxious
I texted a friend back
I got outside today
I made people laugh at dinner
I advocated for myself at work
I remembered my medication
The goal is not toxic positivity or pretending hard things do not exist.
Instead, it is about helping our brains notice positivity and to intentionally sit in gratitude for even a brief moment each day.
When we are struggling, our attention naturally narrows toward mistakes, stress, or disappointment. “Three Good Things” helps widen the lens.
It asks: “What is also true?”
Yes, today was hard. And… maybe there were still moments of progress, connection, effort, courage, or joy.
An Important Addition: Asking for Positive Feedback
One challenge many young adults face is that they genuinely struggle to see what is going well in themselves.
Sometimes they have received years of correction, criticism, or feedback focused primarily on what needs improvement. Over time, this can make it difficult to notice strengths.
That is why at Intrepid, we sometimes pair “Three Good Things” with another practice:
Asking trusted adults for positive feedback.
This might mean asking:
A teacher: “What is something I’m doing well in class?”
A life coach: “What progress have you noticed lately?”
A supervisor: “What strength do you see in me at work?”
For many young adults, hearing specific positive feedback helps challenge the story that “nothing is getting better.”
Sometimes growth is hard to see from the inside.
Other people can help us notice it.
Small Wins Matter
One of the things we remind young adults at Intrepid is this:
Growth is rarely dramatic. More often, it looks like:
Getting out of bed when motivation is low
Showing up after a difficult day
Having a hard conversation instead of avoiding it
Trying again after making a mistake
Taking one small step toward independence
Those things count. In fact, they matter a lot.
Because over time, small wins become confidence. Confidence becomes momentum. And momentum becomes meaningful change.
Sometimes getting unstuck starts with one simple question:
“What are three good things from today?”
